9/11

September 11th is a very reflective day for many of people. It will always go down as one of the most memorable days in history in many people's lives. While I personally don't know of anyone who died on September 11, 2001, there seems to be an unfortunate game of six degrees of separation. As I looked through the Facebook posts today, it seems that quite a few people on my friend's list knew someone who died or  who was effected by this very somber day.

I woke up on 9/11/01 sore and uncomfortable, popped a pain pill, turned on the TV and got back into bed. It was a little after 9am and I was on medical leave from work. Several weeks before my life had changed forever. I was admitted to the hospital and didn't leave until my colon and rectum were removed, two weeks later.  I was given an ileostomy. A bag. I was different than anyone I knew.

The discomfort I was feeling on that day is nothing in comparison to the mental anguish and physical Hell that many, many people would endure. The images on the news were terrifying. I couldn't imagine what was going through the minds of those in the twin towers trying to escape, those on the airplane that crashed into the Pentagon. Watching the Today Show, my pain went away. Instead I felt angry and sad as I tried to grasp what was happening to our country.

Seven years later, after several months of fistulas, abscesses (is that really the plural for abscess?), intestinal narrowings and other Crohn's fun, I was scheduled to have surgery on September 11, 2008. I almost didn't schedule surgery that day, because of the horrible events that happened in 2001. I felt it was a jinx. I decided that my thought process was ridiculous, so I scheduled surgery.

I don't remember much about that September 11th, aside from waking up and being told that I needed a blood transfusion. That and the horrendous pain. I also remember feeling fortunate enough to have my loved ones surrounding me.

I couldn't imagine going through the awful events of 9/11/01 alone, without family or loved ones surrounding me, thinking that this could be my last moment. Many of us go through trying times in our lives and want to give up. Just know that the feeling is temporary. No feeling is permanent. It does get better.

Blueberries & Strictures

I love fruit and loathe Crohn's disease at times. Take blueberries, for instance. I went to the grocery store and picked up some fruit. No, not to eat. I can't eat fruit. To blend in my Vitamix. I get home, wash the blueberries and start to eat them, as if it's "safe". Not so fast!! I quickly spit out them out. I can't eat those, I think, and mildly freak out to the thought that I may have some stomach issues later.
I proceed to blend my blueberries, strawberries, apple and banana.

How many people have to think about every single thing that goes into their mouth? Aside from those (myself included) who count points, fat grams and calories. Many Crohn's, Colitis and IBD sufferers know this problem all too well- strictures.

An intestinal stricture is inflammation that has caused scarring of the intestines. Ultimately, a stricture can get so narrow that a fistula is formed (that's a whole other ball game). I have had my fair share of strictures and fistulas. Three times  they have lead to major surgery. First was my proctocolecotmy in 2001, next came the bowel resection in 2004, followed by a new stoma and bowel resection in 2008.

Back to food. My list of DO NOT eat is longer than my list of foods I can eat. I avoid roughage, unless for some reason I think I'm a "normal" person at that moment. As a general rule, I don't eat vegetables, unless they are pureed, a la baby food style. I do eat tomatoes on occasion, if I'm feeling really well and have had a lot of liquids that day. So how do I get nutrients? See below!

Breakfast: 2 Low fat Nutragrain waffles with 2 TBS of PB2 Powdered Peanut Butter and decaf iced  
                 coffee. If I go to the gym before work, I add a protein shake into the mix too.

Morning Snack: Low fat Sharp Cheddar String Cheese

Lunch: High protein pasta with spinach pesto (pulverized in the food processor) with grilled chicken
            with a sprinkling of low fat cheese.

Afternoon Snack: A Zone protein bar. I go to the gym every night, so this is perfect pre-workout.

Dinner: Grilled chicken or turkey sausage with rice, pasta, or a tortilla, with sun-dried tomato pesto or  
             spinach pesto, sprinkled with Parmesan.

Dessert: A whole fruit smoothie made with bananas, strawberries, blueberries, cherries, apples, grapes,
             peaches, or whatever I have in the fridge or freezer.


Sometimes when I go out to eat and order a meal, asking the waitress to remove all of the roughage, I think "do people think I am not a healthy eater"? I am an avid gym goer and love to eat healthy foods, when I am healthy. How many people understand that veggies and fruit could be bad for you? It's a foreign concept. The way I eat is healthy for ME. Is it a bummer that some of us Crohnnies have to watch every single thing that goes into our mouths? YES. Is it worth it to avoid surgery? Absolutely.