Too Terrified to Travel

Your 20's should be the prime time of your life. Finishing college, traveling, delving into a new career, getting married, having babies. It all sounds amazing doesn't it? I finished college, got married and started a new career (mind you NOT in the field I went to school for). One thing was missing (well, several things, but we won't go there now). Traveling. I was too ill during college to do much in the way of traveling. The 4 plus years I was in school, I think I flew once. It was to Philadelphia when my grandfather passed away. I was 19 and pretty sick, but Prednisone seemed to keep me feeling pretty well.

As I started to plan our Spring Break trip to DC, it hit me like a ton of bricks; I'm 33 and haven't traveled the world, let alone the US! Hell, I haven't even been to DC, San Fran, Baltimore. Let alone Paris, Venice, Israel, Spain, Australia or London. In the past ten years I can probably count on both hands where I've been. It's not that I haven't wanted to travel, I've been too afraid to. I'm not scared to fly, car rides actually are relaxing to me. For the longest time I worried that I would be too far away from my doctors and something terrible would happen. I would need emergency surgery, I'd feel sick and not feel well enough to enjoy my travels, I'd be on a cruise in the middle of the ocean and would need to be airlifted to shore and flown home immediately. It may sound silly to the average Joe, but to someone like me, who's 20's started out with 6 minor surgeries, followed by 3 major surgeries, I was too afraid to leave my comfort zone.

In 2008 Brad and I planned to marry that Spring and had an amazing honeymoon in the works- a cruise in through the Caribbean! We had paid for it in January, planning to set sail from Florida in May. Instead, we married in February and I ended up with an all expenses paid trip to the hospital in April. We had to cancel our planned paradise.  Luckily we got a refund, but we never did get to take a honeymoon, or even a little getaway. We spent our money on other things, like trying to fix up our home and expanding our family (without success).

April of last year was the first time I have taken a vacation in many years.  In my whole adult life, I've never been able to take a whole week off, aside from the times I've been sick or in the hospital. Of course Brad and I have taken trips; driven to St. Louis to visit my family for a long weekend or Chicago to see my parents for a couple days, but I'm talking VACATION, vacation. We took a week off and flew to LA to visit my brother for an entire week. I was terrified to make the plane reservation. What would happen if I got sick between booking the flight and traveling to LA? I had to let go of that feeling. The trip was amazing on so many levels. I got to spend a whole week with Brad, who I barely see for a total of 5 minutes per day, in passing, as I walk in the door from work and he leaves to go to work. We stayed with my brother, Mark, and his then girlfriend, now fiance, Sara and spent lots of time relaxing with them. We ate amazing food, saw gorgeous palm trees, and enjoyed fantastic weather. It was amazing. I suddenly felt free. Free of my fears that I was going to be stranded in the middle of nowhere without medical intervention. Those feelings suddenly felt silly. Vacations were meant to serve one purpose: relaxation, fun, food and family time. Why was I avoiding this? After our fabulous vacation, Brad and I vowed  to visit Mark & Sara in LA, once a year.

Planning our trip to DC has made ME feel in control, not my disease! I want to visit so many places, and hope to show the kids a good time, while they learn a little bit about the history of this wonderful country. Gone are the days of fear and here are the days of free, fun times. I am no longer afraid to book a hotel or flight two months out. Yes, there's a chance I could end up sick, but we can't predict the future. If anything, I'm learning to live in the moment.


"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page" Saint Augustine

Why I'd Rather Not Go Out to Eat....

Ever since I started personal training, I vowed to make some changes to my diet. After all why spend the money to train if I'm not going to feed my body with fuel. I started looking at food differently after my first session with my trainer, who I'll call C. I told her all about my diet restrictions- my body only allowing me to eat complex carbs and a low fiber, low residue diet. I could stomach most sources of protein, eating lots of cheese, chicken and ground turkey. But my downfall is bread and pasta. Who doesn't love a nice piece of crusty French bread?


C suggested that I start with some simple swaps, my favorite being oats and oat flour for traditional unbleached white flour. Done! I can do this. I took her suggestion and scoured Pinterest for recipes. With C's suggestion, I first swapped out unbleached flour for oat flour in my new favorite high protein pancakes (recipe to follow). This is now my signature breakfast. Spread some Chocolate PB2 and it feels more like a treat than a low carb, low fat, healthy meal. Lunch? No problem. Instead of chicken sausage and a little pasta, I now purchase low carb wraps, take some low fat cheese and chicken or turkey and dip in Dijon mustard. My perfect snack? Millet and flax pita chips. And my favorite meal of the day, dinner! I started baking my own chicken fingers. The coating? Egg whites and oat flour mixed with parm, Italian seasoning, garlic, salt and pepper. The best part? I don't feel deprived! I'm still eating carbs, just healthier ones!

The old me would grow tired of eating the same old, same old by Wednesday. I'd run out for a coffee drink at noon to spruce up my lunch. By Thursday I'd be jonesing for Jimmy John's, Panera, Big Apple Bagels, or a naked burritos from Qdoba. See a theme? Food saturated in carbs! Nowadays I'd MUCH rather eat well  at home and save my pennies. It just takes some extra planning. I make batches of chicken fingers and freeze them. Same with pancakes. It makes it less tempting for me to stop for a bagel on the way to work, or at a restaurant for carryout after Zumba.

I'm not interested in eating out, unless it's a special occasion. While I usually make the choice to skip the mayo and always made relatively healthy choices, the amount of calories I probably ate was way more than my body needed anyhow. My advice? Try out these simple swaps! You'll be happy you did!

Crohn-ology: A Brief History of my Illness **Disclaimer** TMI post :)

chro·nol·o·gy

 noun \-jē\

plural chro·nol·o·gies

Definition of CHRONOLOGY

1

: the science that deals with measuring time by regular divisions and that assigns to events their proper dates

2

: a chronological table, list, or account

3

: an arrangement (as of events) in order of occurrence<reconstruct the chronology of the trip>

defined for English-language learners »

See chronology defined for kids »

----http://www.merriam-webster.com/

So you may be wondering why I posted the definition of chronology? Well, let's take a trip down memory lane, shall we.....Where CHRONOLOGY meets CROHN-OLOGY. The most memorable moments in my Crohn's rich life.

(TMI ALERT---IF YOU Don't want to know these dirty details about me, I don't suggest reading this post)

1988: Age 9 on Spring vacation on Florida (fond memories) and I scream bloody murder at the sight of the bright red blood filling the toilet. I'm in immense pain in the butt (and an immense pain in the butt) for the entire rest of the trip. I remember listening to my Dirty Dancing cassette tape to help calm me down. After a number of doctor's visits I am finally referred to Dr. Kirschner at University of Chicago Pediatric Gastroenterolgy. My first colonoscopy was on picture day and my class waited until the very end of the day, just in case I was able to make it for the class photo. I can even remember what I was wearing- a blue and green checked skort with a baby blue t-shirt and Tretorn tennis shoes. I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. The one thing I took away from that meeting? People with Crohn's can have curved toenails. I happen to be one of them.

Medications: Azulfadine, Prednisone, Iron, Folic acid

1995: As a junior in high school, the last thing on my mind was having an illness. I was 16, dating, going out on weekends and enjoying my free time. Did I want to think about the illness that would one day turn against me? Not in the least. When my mom and I went for my annual gastro appointment that Spring, I was advised that I would NEVER have issues with Crohn's disease if I haven't at this point in my life. I wish I could SHAKE the doctor that told me that. Boy was he wrong. 

Medications: Pentasa

1997: As a freshman at Western Michigan University, on my own for the first time, living in the dorms, stressed out by school, roommates, making healthy food choices and getting enough exercise, my health began to deteriorate. I threw myself into working out and eating very little. My favorites: grapefruit and Papa John's plain bread sticks (they delivered them to my dorm). I would walk from the Valley all the way to the student rec center, clear across campus. Then I'd partake in a step aerobics class and water aerobics. Academics? I switched my major 3 times that year.

Medications: Pentasa, Levsin

1998: I grow increasingly ill and have little energy. For the second time in my life I'm having a major Crohn's flare up (first being when I was diagnosed). I am referred to an amazing doctor, Karen Sable, MD. She refers me to a colo-rectal surgeon who determines that I have a bunk sphincter. Seriously? I'm 19 and see a colo-rectal surgeon. I'm about 60 years too young to be in this situation. My amazing Surgeon Dr. Theodore Sacclarides of Rush Presbyterian Chicago, prescribes nitroglycerin. No, I'm not a heart patient, this was prescribed to try and contract my non working sphincter. 

Medications: Prednisone, Pentasa, 6MP, Nitro

2001: It's late Spring, 2001. I am newly married, but sick as HELL. I am begging for an ostomy at this point. I'm a full time student and have a full time job at a psychiatric hospital. I feel terrible. My spare time is spent on the couch laying on the heating pad. Had I discovered pain management at this point, I would be stoned on pain meds all the time. I can't sit, lay down or stand without an immense amount of pain. Finally, when I'm sick enough to be admitted to the hospital, I have my colon, rectum and part of my small intestine removed. The med students described my colon like a giant rubber band mass. It was extremely diseased. I am a new version of myself and loving the feeling of health.

2004: Oh brother, here we go again. I'm on vacation and discover that my stoma has a fistula. I know this can't be good. As soon as I get back from a weekend away, I see my surgeon. I don't remember much (must have blocked it out) but had a bowel resection and had more small intestine removed. Good to go... or not. After being released I am rushed back to the hospital only to discover a pocket of fluid around my pancreas. One more week in the slammer.

2008: AKA the worst health year thus far. February brings loss of energy and fevers. April, the weekend of Brad's birthday, I'm hospitalized with a baseball sized mass of fluid. It's drained, and so am I. I'm left with a drain bag hanging from my abdomen and sent on my merry way. In extreme pain, I cannot work. I can't go out into the world either. It's mortifying to have an IV-like bag hanging from my stomach. After getting the "all clear" on my 29th birthday, I am allowed to go back to work, only to be admitted to the hospital on July 4th. My abscess is back. After several hospitalizations later, it's time to schedule yet another surgery. My incredible surgeon, Dr. Rebecca Hoedema, decides to move my stoma and remove another foot of intestines, on September 11th. The recovery was a bumpy road. I developed bronchitis in the hospital and my staples opened up. After a day at home, my closed wound begins to pop open. Terrified as a mother effer Brad rushes me to the ER. There is NOTHING they can do. It's not good to close an open wound. I am horrified, scared, upset, sad. It felt like a tragedy. Almost 6 months later, my scar closes. 

Medications: 6MP, Flagyl, Hydrocodone, Cipro

2012: January- 2 trips to the ER = a few days in the hospital. I have a narrowing in my intestines, yet again. My diet needs to change, STAT. No more salad, fruits, veggies, fiber. 

Medications; Prednisone, Flagyl, Humira

2013: There are days when I feel like my world is going to come crashing down. I know things aren't wonderful with my health now, but I'm treating my body better than I ever have. I'm not eating roughage, I am exercising, getting extra sleep and trying not to let the little things get to me.  I have to tell myself that there could be another day when I will feel sick. It WILL happen. And it will be okay. There are worse things. I'm one strong, stoic, brave, gutsy girl. 

Medications: Humira, Imuran, Prozac (hopefully this will help curb any anxiety that leads to stress inducing flare ups) 

Keep Calm!

Keep Calm and Carry On is everywhere! On mugs, posters, napkins, you name it! I was bored this evening and stumbled upon this brilliant version of Keep Calm and Carry on.

                                                             



The above statement reminds me of two things.

Keep Calm

The Good, The Bad & The Next Day

Somedays I wake up feeling great, only to feel awful later in the day. Take yesterday, for example. I had felt pretty blah the night before. I don't know if I'm going through a flare up right now, if I have a little stomach virus or if I was dehydrated. Sometimes there's a fine line. You guys know what I mean? I woke up feeling better and went for my 3rd personal training session of the week and came home feeling amazing. I drank plenty of fluids in the morning and felt terrific!

Around 3pm, after a busy day at work, I started to feel sick. I had pains, cramping and realized that I probably hadn't had enough to drink. I was sipping on my favorite drink all day; club soda with a splash of cranberry juice, but it wasn't enough after an hour of training earlier that morning. I came home after work and had to take some pain medicine. In years past I had no idea how to combat the pains my aching gut caused. Nowadays, after the "great flare of 2012", I have learned to control the pain by taking 1/2 of a pain pill. It helps my mind and body relax. When I start to feel sick my mind starts to wander. Thoughts of "is this another flare, will I need surgery, and I don't want to spend another 9 months on the couch too ill to join society" ring through my head. Sometimes the anxiety of it all is worse than the physical pain. I drank a TON of cranberry juice, which seemed to help ease my pains. While I thought about the calorie count, my body told me that it was more important to feel better physically than to worry about a few hundred calories.

I fell asleep on the couch around 10ish, waking up around midnight to a phone call from Brad, my amazing husband, who was at work. He knew that after not hearing from me for a couple hours meant I had fallen asleep watching TV. After a great 9 plus hours of straight sleep (never happens- anyone with an ostomy wake up several times a night like I do?), I felt FINE and ready to start my day.

And so my day began, with my favorite activity, Zumba. There was a time when I wouldn't wake up feeling better the next day. I'm truly grateful that I know things can improve with a little medication and some sleep.

Losing it!

Ever wonder what the average person spends each year on weight loss? Me too! Both women and men spend a lot of money to maintain their looks in Hollywood, but as my personal trainer told me, it IS their job to look a certain way. They tan, go for botox injections, train at the gym for several hours per day with a personal trainer and have meals prepared for them. They also have teeth whitening done or implants, breast implants, lipo, nose jobs, breast lifts, etc.

When I think about losing weight, which I do constantly, I never seem to think about the amount of money I spend on a food, a gym membership, the cost of training, shoes, and clothing. Others may pay a monthly fee for Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, or other weight loss programs and even nutritionists. There's also the cost of weight loss apps, calorie tracking apps, and heart rate monitors.

Nutrition

My diet is a tricky thing. Last January I joined Weight Watchers online in hopes of shedding 10lbs or so. Instead, the higher fiber WW diet sent me straight to the ER. My gastro told me to cut out all roughage unless it was blended in the form of a smoothie. Telling that to someone who's favorite food group is salad is tragic. I had just shelled out $50 for 3 months of an online membership. WW was gracious enough to refund my money. The hard part was eating healthily without eating lots of fiber or whole grains. I dare anyone (who isn't competing in a fitness competition) to try to lose weight on plain, boring low fiber diet. What I didn't do was scale back the carbs. While I was eating virtually fat free pastas, white rice and breads, I was overloading my body with carbs. It wasn't until I talked to my trainer about changing things up. Her word of advice was to cut back the carbs. Genius. Of course I had thought of doing so, but it's easier when someone in good shape suggests it. Her suggestion: make oat breaded chicken fingers, low carb breads with coconut or almond flour. I found millet and flax pita chips and high protein pretzels at the local health food store. Now are they as inexpensive as their white flour counterparts? I wish. But swapping out these simple items in my diet has made a difference. I am a lot more conscious about what foods I put in my body. There are days like today, where a Lean Cuisine pizza sounds better than a low carb tortilla with turkey. Why deny myself that? It's still fairly low-cal and figure friendly.As human beings we DO need carbs and can't always eat the low carb version of our favorite food.


Gym Membership

While I don't subscribe to a monthly WW membership or have any costly apps on my iPhone, I do pay a monthly gym membership fee. Together, Brad and I spend $38 per month, which isn't bad. It wasn't until my Zumba instructor aka personal trainer called and offered me a 30 minute session. How could I say no? She trains a girl from Zumba who has won bikini competitions. The first session was pure Hell and I loved it. I thought I was going to throw up mid way through, but kept on pushing. I felt like a wimp, but I didn't care. After doing walking lunges with weights, my heart rate skyrocketed higher than it had in years. I'm not think, but I consider myself fit. I do Zumba or the elliptical on a daily basis and when I started training, I was doing Body Pump too. Regardless, I wanted more. We ended my first session and I was begging for a second. After learning that it would cost an additional $120 a month to train two days a week, I had to think about it for a few days. Brad and I discussed things and decided that I could train once a week to the tune of $80 per month. I was going to cut out my twice weekly coffee habit and stop going out to eat for lunch during the work week. There. Done. Sadly, the meals out and coffee added up to $80 every month. Since I signed up for training around the same time my friend did, our trainer asked us if we wanted to train twice a week together and not charge us anything additional. No brainer! I feel like we're getting a bargain AND we have a gym date just about every morning on top of going to Zumba most evenings.

Clothes

I used to purchase my workout gear from Walmart, Target, TJ Maxx or Marshalls. That was until I discovered my new BFF, Lulu. As in Lululemon. It was LOVE at first sight-- of my butt-- in their popular Wunder Under Crops. I'm not kidding, folks. Anyone who has slipped into Lulu has probably had a similar feeling. Those Nike crops NEVER made me feel this confident. In fact, I felt very self conscious, always pulling them up, tugging at the legs. When I met Lulu, I went full speed ahead with this new relationship. She and I became fast friends, spending all of our free time together; going to the gym, to the grocery store, even work. It wasn't necessarily the fact that the brad Lululemon is prestigious, I've just never felt so good in clothes. Period. Having had a poor body image pretty much since birth, I was always drawn to wearing cardigans with everything, nothing tight around my mid section (because let's be realistic, can't everyone see my scars or bag?). As a person, I started to change. At work I now lose the cardigans, on the weekends I wear tighter fitting shirts. Okay, tighter fitting Lulu shirts, but still. Lulu has boosted the confidence that this girl has never seen!

Shoes

Let's talk shoes. I have always had some what of a shoe fetish, so it's not surprising that I have to have multiple pairs of sneakers for my workouts (YES I call them sneakers- make fun all you want). I started out with my plan 'ole Nike's over a year ago. They were fine for the elliptical, but when I started Zumba I quickly realized that they were not cut out for the moves. They had way too much traction. I searched for the perfect pair of shoes for Zumba and stumbled upon a pair of pretty gussied up Nike Free's on sale at the local running shop. They perfectly hugged my feet, were colorful and would match Lulu nicely. I wore them to Zumba that night and quickly realized that I would need to break them in. A week or two later they were perfect. Of course, six months later, I now have THREE pairs of Nike Free's. The way they glide on the shiny wood floor makes them a perfect Zumba shoe for me.


Gadgets

I recently purchase a Polar FT7 from Best Buy. I had wanted to buy one for months, but to the tune of $100 plus, I couldn't justify purchasing one right around the holidays. I called our health insurance benefits company and found that it was covered under our flex spending account! I ran right out to the store and bought it! I tested it out this morning during my training session and learned that I burned almost 300 calories in 30 minutes!! Amazing! My friend and training partner warned me that it could become an obsession. I could look at the calorie count during a work out and keep pushing myself to the round number. For now, I'm using it as a motivator and a tool so that I don't go overboard with my daily calorie intake. If it ever becomes an obsession, it's gone!

My Conclusion

Obviously we all spend the money with one goal in mind; to lose weight and look our best. This week all of my hard work and hard earned money paid off when I went to try on my favorite black pants and looked like a slob. They were too big!!!!! While they had slowly been getting a litter looser on me since I started training, this week they looked ridiculous. When my trainer commented to me this morning that I looked like I had lost weight, it was confirmed. The scale has been kinder to me in recent weeks, but it's the non scale victories (NSV's-Thank you, M, for sharing the term with me) that really pay off!

Coming Clean

As someone who has had a poor body image most of my life, I finally feel like I'm on the right track to a healthy, realistic image of myself. Starting at the age of maybe 4, I can remember being in the shower and thinking that my belly was fat.  As I got older, I thinned out, but only because I was sick. I still think I looked my best between the ages of 8 and 9, when I was at my all time skinniest. One problem; I was SICK. While I looked thin, it was because I had no energy, wasn't getting nutrients from food, and had constant fevers. My body was under attack. 

Fast Forward to age 12, I was the polar opposite. I was a fat faced pre-teen on Prednisone. Nothing kills one's self esteem like the villain, Prednisone. It lurks in your body, makes you feel like you could eat everything on the menu at McDonald's and then want seconds, gives you the dreaded "moon" face and makes your whole body look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. As soon as I stopped the meds, I started to feel "normal" again. The weight fell off and I felt cute. 

There were periods of time when I had to go on "the one who shall not be named", aka, Prednisone. The pros: I felt freaking fantastic. It gives you the energy of 10 Red Bulls on a daily basis. Cons: I was fat again, moody and always starving. Not only was I on this evil beast from the age of 9 through 12, but I also had to take it during my sophomore year of college, in 2001 before I got married (to my ex-husband), and just  a year ago. 

Through all of this, food became my enemy. As you can imagine, trying to eat lots of fruits and veggies to stave off weight gain does not go hand in hand with Crohn's disease. Could I just eat steamed veggies and chicken? Sure, minus the veggies. My food choices bored me to tears.

In an effort to feel like I could eat the foods I craved, I developed a very bad habit; I started chewing and spitting.  I thought it was a perfectly good solution to my growing problem. It started with popcorn, my favorite snack food of all time. After being sent to the ER in 2003 after eating popcorn at the movies, I could no longer enjoy the savory snack. I found chewing and spitting it out to be a perfect balance for me. I could eat the foods I love and not get the calories! Brilliant. Honestly, I thought I brainstormed this phenomenon. Popcorn turned into cookies, which turned into candy, which turned into chips, and basically anything fattening that I wanted to taste, yet not get the calories. I still had no idea there was anything wrong with this. Most recently, I found myself eating cooked onions, baby carrots, and lettuce. This nasty "habit" didn't have any boundaries. I was eating foods that were forbidden, things that would send me to the ER for pain meds and fluids. 

It wasn't until the Summer of 2012 that I realized that chewing and spitting wasn't a bad habit, it was disordered eating. A term I had never heard of. When my friend shared her blog that began out of disordered eating, it was the first time that I admitted that I too had disordered eating. I went for almost 10 years thinking I was just doing myself a favor by skipping the calories by tasting foods I couldn't eat. Instead I learned just how disordered I really was. 

I am still trying to combat this very personal problem. Most of my friends and family have no idea that I struggle with this. It's embarrassing. The world may not look at this like a disease such as anorexia or bulimia, but rather a gross habit. I am here to educate the general public, because I know I am not alone. 

Fellow Crohnies, this issue with food began after struggling with bland food choices during flare ups. Have any of you ever had issues with food, other than not being able to eat certain things? 

To learn more about disordered eating, visit these sites:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Disordered_eating

http://let-there-be-light.net

I Resolve To NOT Make Any Resolutions in 2013..

Happy New Year, everyone!

Do you make and break resolutions year after year? This year I'm going to skip the resolutions and instead set some goals.

1. BLOG.

I started this blog last summer and suddenly stopped posting. No rhyme or reason, I just stopped. I don't know why. I'm doing myself a disservice. Blogging is very therapeutic for the mind, body and soul. I also know it makes my dad proud. As a writer, he has always encouraged me to write.

2. Relax more.

I don't know about you all, but when Crohn's has me down, I'm REALLY down.  I don't mean sad. I mean ill. Unable to move without discomfort, too exhausted to do the simplest tasks such as emptying the dishwasher and doing laundry. When I feel good, I want to maximize my day. This means on the go non-stop until I drop.  I do this because I know there will be a day or two, even months, where I won't feel well or am recovering from surgery. My justification is that I need to live it up while I can. My goal is to create more time to relax, sleep more, read more, just hang out at the house and not feel like I need to be cleaning, cooking, etc. It is OK to just sit on the coach and veg.

3. Get in the best shape of my life.

I don't mean just losing weight. I want to put on muscle. I want awesome biceps, impeccable legs, and a killer back. Weeks before the new year began, my friend, Melissa, and I decided to start going to the gym for pre-work workouts, 4-5 mornings per week. We also signed up for personal training with our Zumba instructor and decided to meet her at 6:30am twice a week. Within the first two weeks both of us began to see results. Muscles popping out in places I didn't know existed. The high I get from knowing that I'm doing something good for my body is unreal. It's easier to make healthy food choices when you are taking good care of your body.

4. Don't obsess.

I don't know a single person that doesn't have their obsessions. Whether it's counting points or calories, material possessions, clothing, thoughts. Everyone has an obsession. I have obsessed about many things in my life; money, health, work, calories burned at the gym, having a baby and so on and so forth. There are lots of things that I cannot control- the actions of others, the next time I am going to have a flare up, when Brad and I are going to be chosen to adopt (that's a biggie). I've decided that if I just relax more often, the obsessiveness kind of goes by the wayside. Oh and Prozac helps too...

5. Be happy with what I have.

Do material possessions make people happy? HELL yes. Do they make me happy? Sure. Is that the only thing that makes me happy? NO. If everything was taken away from me tomorrow I'd be pretty upset. It would be a huge upheaval in my life. But if you take away my laptop, iPad, TV and Lululemon, I am left with fantastic friends, a wonderful, loving husband, amazing step-children, a terrific brother and almost sister in law and the best parents a gal could as for. As an insurance agent, I've seen people lose their homes, all of their "stuff", their cars, their wedding rings. While it's awful to lose those things, they're all replaceable. Is it a pain to lose it all? Of course, but as the Beatles put it best, sometimes "Love is all you need".