foster care
noun
Full Definition of FOSTER CARE:
supervised care for orphaned, neglected, or delinquent children or for persons mentally ill in a substitute home or an institution on either a full-time or day-care basis
- Merriam Webster
When I first heard the words "foster care" in regard to adopting a baby, like many others I assumed it was impossible to adopt a baby from foster care. I mean thousands of people spend thousands of dollars on adoption and wait years to make their dreams of building a family come true. Was this too good to be true?!
I remember being in the gym locker room with my friend, the foster care worker, after an evening Zumba class, discussing adoption. As I got to know several participants pretty well, I shared my infertility to adoption journey with them. The love and support they lend, still, years later is touching. As I began to hear my friend's words "you know you can adopt a baby from foster care, right?!" I started to gain hope. That's exactly the moment when my world changed.
I begged for more information. She told me she had a 2 year old on her case load that needed to be adopted. I was astounded that I had no idea one could adopt from foster care. If I, a 30 something woman, desperate for a baby didn't know, did anyone else know this?! I was anxious to call Brad and ask him his thoughts. Should WE do foster care?!
It took no time to make our decision; foster to adopt was right for us. Could we be placed with a child that could potentially reunite with his or her parents? Sure, but it was the risk we were willing to take.
Common Misconceptions
Their parents didn't want them
• Most of the time this is the opposite. Their parents DO want them, but often times have trouble keeping clean, finding a safe place to live or unsafe habits that are extremely difficult to break.
Most foster children are born addicted to substances (alcohol, crack, etc)
• Common? Yes. Every.Single.Time? Absolutely not. My (Foster) son was not born addicted.
Foster care is punishment for the "bad" kids
• This one kills me. Punishment isn't living in a warm, safe place, compared to on the streets or an unsafe home. Will every foster home be roses and unicorns? No way. There are plenty of foster parents who create a warm, loving home that these kids have craved.
Most foster children her bounced around from home to home
• I've heard this too. But the court system generally looks out for the best interest of the child. Going from home to home certainly isn't healthy for a child trying to form an attachment.
Their biological parents can take them back anytime
• Reunification is the goal of foster care. If the parent is being compliant there are usually steps they have to take in order to have a simple unsupervised visit with their child. .
The cycle will never stop. They will abuse drugs just like their parents
• A child in any family can become addicted to drugs or abuse others. It is a lot of work raising a child to become well adjusted. While foster children have additional issues that may par for the course, it doesn't make them a future addict.
If you or anyone you know wants to become a foster parent, contact 855 MICH KIDS
xo Rachel
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